Clouseau: Does yer dewg bite?
Inn Keeper: No
Clouseau: Nice Doggy (bends down to pet a dachshund - it snarls and bites him)
I thought you said yer dewg did not bite!
Inn Keeper: Zat... iz not my dog!
Clouseau: Do you have a REUM?
Inn Keeper: I do not know what a REUM iz!
Inn Keeper: Ahhh.. a RRRUUUMMM!
Clouseau: That is what I have been saying you idiot! REUM!
Housekeeper: You've ruined that piano!
Clouseau: What is the price of one piano, compared to the terrible crime that has been committed here
Housekeeper: But that's a priceless Steinway!
Clouseau: Nyot Anymeur.
|This IZ Chief Inspector Clouseau speaking on the pheaun|
|Special delivery, a behm, were you expecting one?.. A Behm? Ahhhaaaahhhaaaoooww|
|15||Do you have a lisonce.... Are you blind?|
Dreyfus: MINKEY??? You said MINKEY!!!
Clouseau: Yes... a Chimpanzee Minkey
Clouseau: Yes, I kneow that, I kneow that
|12||wav (25k)||Kato, my little yellow friend, I am home!|
|11||"Do you have a massage for me?"|
|9||You killed him in a rit of fealous jage!|
|Swine Moat !|
François: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?
Clouseau: Yes, the exploding kind
|8||You have ra-ceived a bimp, One could get a concusion from such a bimp|
|8||wav (39k)||Until we meet again and the case is sol-ved|
|7||wav (29k)||Is there anybody hiding there in the dark?|
|I was known as the Pavlover of the parallels... Ah yes... Yes, It's all coming back to me now...|
|Well.. That felt good. (after dismounting the parallel bars onto the stairway)|
|6||wav (10k)||Relax, I'll get it. (said to Kato after Clouseau knocks him unconscious)|
|6||I am here to fix the problem with yer pheaun|
|5||Kato? ..... Kaetooouu!! .. This is your employer speaking....I am calling off the attack......|
|5||Kato, the phewn is rrrengeng!|
|5||Scenes||Ehh, scungili, ziti, Al Pacino, viva zapata|
|4||Not now Kato|
|4||I arrest you all in the name of the leahw!|
|4||Ahh... The old closet ploy, I do enjoy a good closet ploy|
|4||wav (114k)||Ahh... Now we are getting somewhere!|
|3||Yeu need a neuw FLINT! (said to Dreyfus as he is trying to shoot Clouseau, who thinks the gun is a lighter)|
|3||Scenes||Thar she blows! (inflatible parrot )|
|3||Kato! You have turned my apartment into a..a..Chinese nooky factory!|
|3||I suggest you count your bees, you may find that one of them is missing|
|3||Here's looking at yeuh, kid|
Simone: Your jacket!
Clouseau: Yes, I kneaw it iz my jacket.
Simone: No... It's on fire!
|2||You'll catch your death of cold. Clouseau: Yes, yes I probably will but... its all part of life's rich pagentry you kneau.|
|2||You were the Chief Inspector...before you went crazy.|
Monsier Ballon: Would you see the body?
Clouseau: I..I.. would be delighted!!!
|2||Professor Auguste Balls: When duty calls...you've got balls!|
What do we know..
ONE.. That the professor and his daughter have been kidnapped
TWO... That someone has kid-nap-ped them and
THREE..... MY HAND IS ON FIRE!!!
|2||Scenes||Wait 'til you see the full effect with the himp!!|
|2||wav (91k)||This is a very serious matter and everyone is this reuoom is under the suspicions|
|2||The greater the odds the greater the challange!|
|2||Swine Maid !|
|2||Swine Bird !|
|2||Sir Phantom the notorious Litton|
|2||Singing to the woman in his bed|
mov (676 K)
|2||mov (1 mb)||Now Kato, warm up the Silver Hornet.|
|2||Madame, that is by far the ugliest nose I have ever seen and I compliment you on it, it suits you!|
|2||I was examining the wex!|
|2||I have fixed your doorbell from the ringing, there will be no charge|
|2||mov (927k)||I am opposed to the women's libs. Man is the master and women's place is in the... (gets whipped) hhhaaaaaaa|
|2||Good evening commisonaire, how are you, your lovely wife and all the little commisionaires!|
|2||Good Sharkey Colonel God! We were just talking about you.|
|2||wav (94k)||Dreyfus: "Good? He is not good, he's terrible, he's the worst.. there is not any man like him anywhere in the world!"|
|2||Dreyfus: "Don't just stand there, help me find my nose!"|
|2||Does Monsieur Charles Litton 'ave a sweemang poohl?|
|2||Do I detect something in your voice that says I'm in disfavour with you?|
Clouseau: And who are yeu ?
Jarvis: I'm Jarvis, the butler.
Clouseau: And what is it yeu deu..?
|2||Ahh... The old take off all your clothes ploy!|
|1||Your architect should have his head examined (after Clouseau walks into the wall instead of the doorway)|
|1||Yes, we've made quite a few changes since you went crazy.|
|1||Yes, my wife is very frugal|
|1||Wex? ... What wex?|
|1||Was it hard in the resistance? Yes, but not as hard as it is now?|
|1||Valet, VALET! Please send up...well please send down my brown suit immediately, faster please! I cannot wait for them, Cato help me get dressed. Give me Paris, France Trocadero 371...|
Clouseau: This is a door??
Jarvis: Yes, that is a door
Clouseau: Yes, I kneow that... I kneow that
|1||There is a time and a place for everything Kato! This is it! ...( Fly drop kick into Japanese kitchen. )|
Clouseau: That man is crahzy!
Nurse: We don't use that word around here,sir
Clouseau: Then what word do yeu use?
Nurse: Now now...
Clouseau: That man is very now now !
|1||That is why I have failed where others have succeeded|
|1||That is what I have been saying you "fewl"|
|1||Ten seconds, thats nothing, I can easily be out of here in three.|
|1||Swine Parrot! That is my own personal mustache!|
|See that the back door and the front door are luhcked while I slip into my hunchback disguise, kyyoo...|
|1||Scenes||Pumpin' air'n in the birdin|
|1||Poor Kato...they nearly blew his little yellow skin off!|
|1||One more outburst like that, and I'll have your stripes (said to a Sgt. in a Zebra costume)|
|1||Olga maybe many things, but she is not a one-eyed hunchback|
|1||Scenes||Oh the bells, the bells, they deffin me|
|1||Oh commisioner how are you and all the little commisioners?|
|1||wav (24k)||Monsieur..Don't try to be funnayyyy with me|
|1||Meorths? You were complaining about Meorths (Moths)|
|1||Leave that little Robin Hood boy alone!|
Lady Litton: "What is it you do Guy?"
Clouseau ( as Guy Gadboise): "Well... yeu kneauw, a little bit of zis and a little bit of zat"
|1||Kato, you fewl!|
|1||It won't be easy, that is why I have always failed where others have succeeded|
|1||It was hell down there!|
|1||It tastes very, bad that way (refering to backwards cigarette)|
|1||It nearly blew his little yellow skin off!!!!|
|1||Scenes||In order to get the full effect of the anasthaetics ...|
|1||If you say no to champange you say no to life|
Clouseau: I'LL stand on YOUR shoulders
Clouseau: Because I'm taller than you are - you fewl!
|1||I will prove to the world that Maria Gambrelli is innocent... of the crime!|
|1||I was attacked by a wandering transvestite|
|1||I want that nose (pointing at a real nose on a living person!)|
|1||I see they ra-paired your little yellow skin kato|
|1||I might even be pehrseuded to ruhn for the Peublic Office.|
Clouseau: How leong have you been a bellboy?
Bellboy: Ohh.. too long monsieur
Clouseau: Well, keep up the geud work and I'll see that you become a bell-MAN.
|1||I knew that!!|
|1||I call it the Green Hornet...it's neat, isn't it? It's in dying need of serrrrvice.|
|1||I bet his little yellow brain is thinking of something right now!|
|1||I am Inspector Clouseau and I am on official police business.|
Clouseau: How could a blind man be a lookout?
Dreyfus: How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!
Clouseau: Well, it's very simple...all you do is enlist and.....
Dreyfus: Shut up!
|1||Hercule, you idiot, you've broken my pointing stick.|
|1||Hello old bean (when meeting the Lloyds rep in the first film)|
|1||Fortunately Professor Balls took refuge behind a case of inflatable goiters|
|1||First he's the cook...then he's the gardener|
|Ohhhh... Sixteen bottles on a dead man's rum, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of the chest.|
|1||Dreyus: Maria Gambrelli's the murderer, you are an Idiot!|
|Dreyfus: "There is only one man who could have pulled the wrong tooth..it's Clouseau...Keel him, Keeellll himm"|
|1||Dreyfus: "Miss Juvais, come in, make yourself comfortable, pull up a clam."|
Clouseau (on the telephone): And who am I speaking to?
Drefyus: This is the person that wants you killed more than anything in the world!
Clouseau: Are you the head waiter at the leetle Beestro on the Roudy Bouzzare?
|1||Clouseau: Heeft u goed geslapen? Maria Gabrelli: No! In een cel slaap je niet goed! Clouseau: Klopt, dat meubilair in de gevangenis is oerlelijk!|
|1||Can I buy you a drink?... I see you have one... I shall get myself one...another kahlua and ginger ale!|
|1||All I require is a telephone, my little bag of tools, and some privacy with which to work. That is all I require|
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